The Cartoon Cowgirl Forever

Tag Archive 'Lucy Acres'

• The Cartoon Cowgirl’s Last Ride

                By Lucy Acres

  A woman had passed out on the street,
  Reported the anonymous source.
  “The lady smells like a brewery,” he said,
  “and she’s on a little brown horse.”

  The witness went on with the facts:
  A straw cowboy hat, guns made of tin;
  The deputies made an easy guess that
  The Cartoon Cowgirl was riding again.

  It would be her umpteenth Saturday night
  Spent in her regular cell.
  Again, the Cowgirl paid a fine in the morning
  And then left town on her horse called Bell.

  The town folk judged her and Bell as useless
  And hoped the two had left for good.
  But the Cartoon Cowgirl and Bell came back.
  They always knew they would.

  The next Saturday, however, was different.
  They never made it to the jail that night.
  The Cowgirl and Bell saw a murder taking place
  And didn’t think it was right.

  A hanging was about to begin.
  The first in many a year.
  The Cartoon Cowgirl and Bell came to the rescue
  Instead of going out for more beer.

  The man they saved was crooked,
  Crookeder than you can imagine.
  And after he stole the church money,
  The people decided to stretch him.

  Our heroine didn’t know this, of course.
  She drew a deep, reeking breath and rushed in.
  The people took one look and knew that
  The Cartoon Cowgirl was riding again.

  The Cowgirl grabbed the man to be hanged
  And pulled him up on Bell.
  The horse took off as fast as she could
  And did it passably well.

  The mother of all chases had begun, and
  The hanging mob was madder than Billy Goat      Hell.
  Everyone in town with a truck or gun was after
  The Cowgirl and the Crook on a horse called Bell.

  Yet, as the pursuit went on, the people soon      discovered
  That the two they had spit on and kicked
  Were putting on a show
  That demanded attention and respect.

  Yes, the Cowgirl and Bell were becoming heroes
  And the Crook thought this was a chase he might      win.
  But he should have known better since
  It was the Cartoon Cowgirl riding again.

  The chasers (in trucks!) caught up with the chased.
  And now the Plague Swamp was very near.
  NOT a place for a late night ride or escape.
  It was a place—like the Plague—to avoid and      fear.

  Just as the trucks all braked to a stop,
  The people heard the Crook’s scream fill the      night.
  But the dark swamp stopped their search.
  They would have to wait for first light.

  In the morning the proof was found:
  A plastic cowboy hat was pulled from the slime,
  And the people of the town knew that
  The Cartoon Cowgirl had ridden for the last time.

                    The End

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